Small things matter

In personal relationships, small things can mean a lot to people. Small gestures and actions show that you care about someone. It is pointless telling someone that you love him or her if this is not reflected in your day-to-day behaviour. You can improve all types of relationships in your life by doing small things that matter to people. Here are some examples:

  • Enjoy doing ordinary things together. For example (if you are living together): doing the weekly shopping together, chopping vegetables together, eating together, and going to bed at the same time.
  • Remember the good times you have shared.
  • Respect the other person’s point of view, even if you feel he or she is wrong. Try to see the funny side of any disagreement.
  • Learn to laugh or smile together when things aren’t going as well as usual.
  • Notice the things that make a particular person happy, and make an effort to do these things. For example, if your partner likes the house to be clean and tidy, make sure you tidy up your things and contribute to cleaning.
  • Make a conscious effort not to be critical of people. If someone has upset you, try to tell that person in a non-threatening way.
  • Accept that you may have habits that irritate another person, and do your best to deal with these. Don’t nag your partner, but tell them when something really irritates you (tactfully, of course).
  • Learn how to touch people you care about in a loving and non-sexual way.Listen to and be sensitive to other people’s emotions and areas of vulnerability. Understand that everyone is vulnerable in different ways.
  • Be there, but don’t put demands upon people when they are unwell or going through a hard time.
  • Create mystery and fun in your relationships. Don’t allow your relationships to become boring or mundane.

If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.
Napoleon Hill, American author (1883 – 1970)


This advice is taken from my book ‘The Tree of Becoming: a guide to the seven principles of conscious healing and transformation’ available from:


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